Apr 18
21 Reasons Twitter Is Bullshit
I’ve been watching, bewildered, for a while now as Twitter continues to grow in popularity. I signed up a few months ago, even bothering to add the Tweet box to the side of this blog, but watching the way it was used, I decided straight away that I didn’t want to be part of the community until I at least knew some Twitter users in “real life”. As it happens, I have still yet to meet a single person outside of the SEM circle that even knew what it was, let alone used it on a regular basis.
However, amongst the SEM regulars, it seems to have become huge. And still it sucks, due to the sheer inanity of 99.99999999999999% of updates posted. I just don’t understand where you people are finding the time. Even after reading articles explaining the virtues of Twitter and about how it can be modified to “spice it up“, I’m still convinced it’s really only good for a) low-grade advertising and b) talking shite.
Speaking with Neil from Lucidite, I realised perhaps I’m not the only one thinking this way. Here’s the top 21 reasons why we’re thinking Twitter Is Bullshit.
- I honestly couldn’t care less what you had for your tea, or how that sensitive medical problem is going. Neither do most of your followers, really.
- The most followed ‘tweeters’ already have well establised blogs that they post on daily. However, not content with expressing a daily opinion on these blogs, now we’ve got to follow them minute by minute. They are that important and interesting.
- Some ‘tweeters’ are ‘tweeting’ everyday hoping to ‘get in’ to the z-list Celeb list, then passive aggressively whining about it when it doesn’t happen.
- “We feel that Twitter keeps us on the ‘cutting edge’ of the web marketing sphere - shit, where’s the past 2 hours gone…”
- Asking to ‘follow’ someone is rather like a request to stalk them, especially if you’ve never met.
- It is instant messaging for voyeurs and exhibitionists.
- Spending over $200 on texting ‘tweets’ does not make you cool.
- Just because you’ve got 30 ‘followers’, doesn’t mean you’ve got 30 friends.
- When I do exactly the same thing on Facebook, my real friends get to read it.
- Even though you’ve got nothing to say, 140 characters never seems enough to say it.
- Just because you feel like you’re hanging out with A-list bloggers, doesn’t mean they’re aware you exist. Chances are they can’t even read your replies.
- Even if they can read your replies, it doesn’t mean they will.
- And for that matter, why do you care so much about what is going on in their minute to minute life?
- In real life, it’s usually considered impolite to start banging on to relative strangers about how your day was before they’ve even asked. Why is this so different on the internet?
- The size of your penis is inversely proportional to the number of people you follow. Jason Calacanis follows over 22,500 people. I follow none.
- Most of your followers are fickle sycophants basking in your reflected internet-glory. You might be feeling the love right now, but you know eventually someone better will come along. Then you’ll be left ‘tweeting’ into the ether.
- Just ‘cos you work on the internet, and Twitter happens to be on the internet, does not mean Twitter is work.
- It’s a DOS version of the Matrix.
- Using Twitter effectively can be a quick route to becoming an ‘Internet Rockstar’. Being an ‘Internet Rockstar’ as rather like being a regular rockstar minus a few important aspects, namely a) the talent, b) the money and c) the sex.
- If people spoke in real life the way they write their ‘tweets’, the world would be a bland and inoffensive place indeed.
- No matter how much you love it right now, face it, you’ll have forgotten all about Twitter just as soon as something better comes along. Following current trends, I can only assume that this will be some sort of wireless application to stream your innermost thoughts directly from your brainspace. Come on, admit it, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?
19 Comments so far
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I’m glad that I’m not the only who thinks that Twitter is nothing short of a major distraction. I put Twitter on my site in January and pulled it a week or two later. I never updated it and I began to think, “do I really want to share my personal stuff with people? Would they care?”
Twitter = The Emperor Has No Clothes
All puff, no substance!
I’m a moderate Twitter user and I agree with about half of the points on your list.
I don’t know about most people, but I’m not on it to be some kind of z-list celebrity.
I would say 20% of the people I follow are people I know from other blogs.
Another 70% of things I follow are news services, the local airport conditions, and people I have found through Twitter Local (a good way to see what kind of things are going on locally).
However, I am always amazed when someone I don’t know decided to follow me.
But honestly, if I didn’t work from home - I probably wouldn’t twitter at all.
Twitter is water cooler chat for those of us that work from home.
Oh, one last thing. I found your website because someone linked to it in Twitter.
And I love the piece about Pachelbel’s Canon.
I started using twit a few weeks ago - but only to follow SEm stuff - so you are right about that - and to be honest, I do like seeing news as soon as someone spots it - but thats just me.
As for the Z list celeb thing? well lI dunno about that - you can really get to know people through it - as Vinny points out - its a wicked watercooler - some stuff has me laughing - so its a good thing.
But maybe you are right I spoend way too much time on it, and wouldnt want extensive text msg bills…
p.s that point about calcanis? OUCH!
p.p.s I am probably the guy Vinny spotted the twit from…
@Matt - Agreed. The majority of it is purely mindless blather, and I’ve got enough real friends to hear that from without having to follow a stranger round the internet!
@Vinny - Not everyone is out to make a name for themselves, sure, but as Twitter seems to be largely inhabited by marketers, there’s certainly a lot more “gaming” of it going on to try and attract attention, the sort of which isn’t quite so perversive on social networks inhabitted by “real” people. I do love that you found the post through Twitter, it’s quite ironic in an Alanis Morrisette type way (ie not really). Glad you liked the piece on Canon too! Hope to see you about.
@Rish - 22,500 people is a LOT to follow, he’s got to be trying to compensate for something?! I bet he drives a 4×4 too.
[…] Here’s the top 21 reasons why we’re thinking Twitter Is Bullshit. 21 Reasons Twitter Is Bullshit […]
The Calacanis point is brilliant. I too am a moderate Twitter user, going through bouts of inactivity etc. I realized the value/enjoyment of Twitter after I started following the “right” people. I stopped following anybody who:
A) posted more 8+ times in 5 minutes
B) posted only to tell me to read their blog or digg their story
C) posted either mostly personal or mostly work related
After I changed who I was following, my enjoyment of Twitter increased. Now I follow friends and collegues, and feel like I’m involved in a multi-lateral discussion.
@Matt - yes, to be honest if Calcanis is following that many people - he is following no one.
But what else do you expect from him?
(I had a much longer response in mind for this comment where I was going to talk about people like Calcanis and Scoble and how they too often believe their own press clippings, etc. - but I decided elsewise.)
And yes - I followed @Rishil to get here.
Twitter is kind of cool, but over-rated.
I also found this through Twitter. (Twitter > Sphinn > here.) Just wanted to second what Syzlak said, and also say this:
My company is getting ready to completely redesign our website and change e-commerce platforms. Through Twitter, I have connected with 3 qualified web designers interested in bidding on the project.
Since you mentioned penises (penii?), let’s go with that analogy. Twitter is like a penis. It’s not about size. It’s how you use it.
I waiting fro the first twit I see that is like:
@everyone can someone grab me some toilet paper?
I have to say some fo your posts here are true..^^..but we can’t deny the fact that Twitter plays a great role in promoting our content, too..^^
[…] I found an excellent post on seotunes.co.uk titled “21 Reasons Twitter Is Bullshit” which made me think how […]
I felt the same way about twitter at first… then I started using it following only people I knew at first… then people started following me… Kind of strange. I’m still a nobody… but I’m a nobody with followers!
Cool blog, I’m a new subscriber.
The list was hilarious, but I think it misses a larger point: Twitter is nothing but a 1990s version of blogging. What you can do with Twitter, blogging can do more, better, easier.
Of course, it certainly seems to be working nicely as a marketing fad currently.
I agree. I could rather spend the time blogging and adding value to my site than waste it on twitter
[…] Matt Davies/SEOTunes: 21 Reasons Twitter Is Bullshit […]
Very amusing but a bit narrowminded.
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