[A response to “A Girl You Should Date”]

Date a guy who plays video games. Date a guy who spends his money on games instead of soap. He has problems with personal space because he smells a bit. Date a guy who has a list of games he wants to play, who has had a game store reward card since he was twelve.

Find a guy who plays video games. You’ll know that he does because he will always have a portable console in his bag. He’s the one lovingly looking over at the new releases in the game store, the one who quietly cries out when he finds the game he wants. You see the weird dude sniffing that freshly opened game case immediately after leaving the shop? That’s the gamer. They can never resist smelling the games, especially when they are awesome.

He’s the guy playing on his 3DS while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at his mug, the full fat milk is floating on top because he’s completely engrossed in Mario Kart. Lost in a world of Nintendo’s making. Sit down. he might give you a glare, as most guys who play do not like to be interrupted. Ask him if he likes the game.

Buy him anothor cup of coffee.

Let him know what you really think of Miyamoto. See if he’s into CoD or Battlefield. Understand that if he says he enjoyed the first Bioshock but didn’t think so much of the second, he’s not just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask him if he loves Alice, and he’ll probably give you a very similar answer.

It’s easy to date a guy who plays video games. Give him games for his birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give him the gift of fun, in disc form. Give him Mass Effect, GTA, Portal, Batman. Let his know that you understand that these worlds are love. Understand that he knows the difference between games and reality but by god, he’s going to try to make his life a little like his favorite game. It will never be your fault if he does.

He has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to him. He won’t care so long as it gives him a few more minutes playing.

Fail him. Because a guy who plays video games knows that failure always leads up to the climax, to another chance to rescue the princess from another castle. Because guys who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Like Ganondorf, or Bowser.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Guys who play gamesunderstand that people, like NPCs, develop.

If you find a guy who plays video games, keep him close. When you find him up at 2 AM clutching a control pad, weeping, make him a cup of tea and hold him. You may lose him for a couple of hours but he will always come back to you. He’ll talk as if the characters in the game are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose over Xbox live or PSN, and that will be awesome.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names like “Link” or “Master Chief”. He will introduce your children to RPGs and shooters, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together, and he will recall Skyrim under his breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a guy who plays video games because you deserve it. You deserve a guy who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give him monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a guy who plays video games.

Or better yet, date a guy MAKES video games!